Heading In The Right Direction
Not to count my chickens before they're hatched, but my weight is down to 128! From just two days of eating around 1400 calories I've dropped from 130.5 on Saturday! Woot! I know some is probably water weight but I'm still happy! I'm feeling leaner as well. And I'm starting to realize that I'm almost happy with my body.
Part of my brain tells me that I shouldn't be happy with myself until I'm really lean again with only a tiny amount of body fat. Then another part of my brain tells me that it's okay to be happy where I am even if I have a little more body fat on me and my size is bigger than it was 4 years ago. I constantly think back to when I was uber tiny, around 99lbs, when I first went to MU. I could wear anything and look good and everything fit perfectly! I was happy every day! I'm still fighting that mindset that if I get back to being that skinny (take note that I had very little muscle, but I did have some definition from doing Tae Bo with the resistance bands) I'll be happy again and won't have any worries.
But I have to remind myself that I was sick then. I was only eating around 1100 calories a day and that went on for about a year. By the Spring of 2006 I was down to 93lbs and I was so upset that I lost my abs. I had a 4 pack going around the summer of 2005 because I was around 105 then and still had body fat on me. But as I continued to starve myself (which I didn't know I was doing. I thought eating at 1100 calories was okay because I was full every day and ate every 4 hours) my body started eating up muscle because I had no body fat left. I was constantly tired, weak, and my arms and legs went to sleep anytime I sat down for awhile. I remember waking up most mornings and my arms would be totally asleep!
I did see a dietitian in the spring of 2006 and she helped me gain back weight with eating whole, natural foods. It was very scary to eat that much at first but I learned the goodness of eating whole foods in the process.
Anyways, I'm feeling good today! :o) About to get ready to go to the chiro then come home for a Tae Bo workout. I was going to get up early and workout but thought...why? I can sleep in later and workout when I get home because I've nothing else to do!
I'm going to talk to Dr. Mark today about my back and see what he thinks my next step should be. I have a feeling my orthopedic surgeon is going to suggest spinal injections again. I've had 3 rounds of them within the past year and the first set really helped. The last two didn't. Neither my chiro or orthopedic surgeon see anything that needs surgery so that's reliving! Thank you Jesus! We just need to figure out how I can get pain relief. I know I have a herniated disc and my O.S. said that if it doesn't drain itself that she can go in and drain it but then I have pressure put on the disc above it and then it's more likely to herniate. So who knows?! But it's nothing life threatening and I still can rock out to Tae Bo so I'm all good! :o)
Have a great day!
Part of my brain tells me that I shouldn't be happy with myself until I'm really lean again with only a tiny amount of body fat. Then another part of my brain tells me that it's okay to be happy where I am even if I have a little more body fat on me and my size is bigger than it was 4 years ago. I constantly think back to when I was uber tiny, around 99lbs, when I first went to MU. I could wear anything and look good and everything fit perfectly! I was happy every day! I'm still fighting that mindset that if I get back to being that skinny (take note that I had very little muscle, but I did have some definition from doing Tae Bo with the resistance bands) I'll be happy again and won't have any worries.
But I have to remind myself that I was sick then. I was only eating around 1100 calories a day and that went on for about a year. By the Spring of 2006 I was down to 93lbs and I was so upset that I lost my abs. I had a 4 pack going around the summer of 2005 because I was around 105 then and still had body fat on me. But as I continued to starve myself (which I didn't know I was doing. I thought eating at 1100 calories was okay because I was full every day and ate every 4 hours) my body started eating up muscle because I had no body fat left. I was constantly tired, weak, and my arms and legs went to sleep anytime I sat down for awhile. I remember waking up most mornings and my arms would be totally asleep!
I did see a dietitian in the spring of 2006 and she helped me gain back weight with eating whole, natural foods. It was very scary to eat that much at first but I learned the goodness of eating whole foods in the process.
Anyways, I'm feeling good today! :o) About to get ready to go to the chiro then come home for a Tae Bo workout. I was going to get up early and workout but thought...why? I can sleep in later and workout when I get home because I've nothing else to do!
I'm going to talk to Dr. Mark today about my back and see what he thinks my next step should be. I have a feeling my orthopedic surgeon is going to suggest spinal injections again. I've had 3 rounds of them within the past year and the first set really helped. The last two didn't. Neither my chiro or orthopedic surgeon see anything that needs surgery so that's reliving! Thank you Jesus! We just need to figure out how I can get pain relief. I know I have a herniated disc and my O.S. said that if it doesn't drain itself that she can go in and drain it but then I have pressure put on the disc above it and then it's more likely to herniate. So who knows?! But it's nothing life threatening and I still can rock out to Tae Bo so I'm all good! :o)
Have a great day!
posted by Amanda @ 11:35 AM
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